Geeks And Church Leaders (In Search Of Truth, Hebrews 13:17)

(Hebrews 13:17, ESV)
17 Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.


As the author of Hebrews nears the close of his letter, he gives some final instruction about how we ought to run the race of faith throughout our lives.

The Greek word for "obey" in this verse doesn't simply refer to a cold, robotic compliance. Two of its three core uses refer to persuading or being persuaded, with the latter being intended here. The third use of this Greek word means "to trust" or "have confidence" in.

The Greek word for "keeping watch" means "to be sleepless, keep awake, watch" and "to be circumspect, attentive, ready". As someone who served as a church leader before starting Spirit Blade Productions (and as someone in a different form of spiritual leadership in my work since then), I can confirm that leaders actually lose sleep over the differences they have with people in the church community. They make an effort not to display their feelings of anxiety when talking with us, because that almost always does harm to the interaction. But when they go back to their office or go home for the night, they are often plagued by the disagreement they are experiencing with others.

Youth pastors and worship pastors have the highest turnover rate in church ministry. (The average for many years was about 18 months) And often the news of a youth or worship pastor stepping down comes as a surprise from out of nowhere. But when you consider that those two ministries have the highest frequency of discontent (from parents of students or people with strong opinions on music) and are lead by pastors who are trying to maintain healthy, even-tempered interactions amidst disagreement, it shouldn't surprise us when these leaders reach their breaking point with almost no one knowing about it.

In addition to wanting their relationships with others to be healthy and producing fruit for God's kingdom, leaders keeping a biblical perspective have an awareness that they are more accountable to God for their actions than others in the church (James 3:1). When we are disagreeing with our leaders we should not assume that their motives and concerns are secretly selfish. These men and women have taken on a job that attracts scrutiny and judgment and yet their hope is to benefit and bless those who scrutinize and judge them. And if there is some secretly selfish motive driving them that we can't know or confirm, then we need to rely on God to be their judge. They will not escape accountability with him.

We play a part in our leaders experiencing joy or groaning as they do their work. The Greek word for "joy" comes from a root meaning "cheerfulness, calm delight and gladness". Our interactions with our leaders should seek to leave them feeling cheerful the rest of their day, or with a calm delight in what they just experienced with us.

The Greek word for "groaning" means "grief, groan, sigh, or grudge". You and I know what it's like to finish a conversation with a difficult or "high maintenance" person and slump down with an "ugh" after the other person leaves. We know what it's like to sigh with resignation about a difficult situation. As much as we can, we want to avoid contributing to our leaders having these same feelings after interaction with us. Even amidst ongoing disagreement we want to affirm what we can about our leaders, our relationship with them and our genuine appreciation for the effort and sacrifice they make to do their work. (And if we don't have genuine feelings of compassion and appreciation for someone we are at odds with, we need to recognize that as sin that we are bringing into the mix and ask God to help us turn away from that and develop true, heartfelt compassion for that person.)

There are many biblical qualifications given for church leaders. (1 Timothy 3:1-13, Titus 1:5-9, ) Not one of them is having a "thick skin". Church leaders are not super-people.We can choose to have no concern for our leaders and be a "problem person" in their lives. But that's not the will of God and, as the author of Hebrews observes, it does nothing to benefit our situation.

In my experience, both as witness and one involved, most disagreements with church leadership don't revolve around something scripture is black and white about, but some choice being made in attempted service of scripture's commands. For example, the choice to play volleyball after youth group because the majority of kids like that game and the church leadership wants to build relationship and connection with as many kids as they can.

It's important to recognize this about disagreement with leadership, because after we have shared our view and made an effort to persuade all relevant church authorities on the issue, we need to be open to trusting our leaders and even being persuaded to see the strengths in their point of view. And if it comes to a stalemate between us and them, we need to be ready to say, "I don't agree with this choice, but I absolutely support your authority to make it and don't want to make things difficult for you or get in the way."

This doesn't mean we let go of the belief that our view is correct. But it does mean that when opportunities for persuasion have been exhausted and the decision has been made, we need to avoid any action, or private conversations with others, that would intentionally or unintentionally contribute to feelings of rebellion against church leadership.

To be clear, all of this assumes the disagreement is regarding an issue for which scripture provides no explicit instruction. If you believe your church leadership is disobeying what scripture instructs for New Covenant believers, and have appealed to the highest authority possible in your church's organization without being successfully persuasive, it's probably time to find another church to support, serve and grow in. Staying in that situation, no matter who is ultimately in the right, will not lead to much fruitfulness.


SO WHAT'S IN THIS FOR GEEKS?

I think you guys have heard me say or imply a number of times before that we as geeks have tendencies toward being negative and critical, both of entertainment and other people. It's easy to inject passion into verbalizing whatever we're bothered by. But we so often fail to encourage or to give high priority to healthy relationships.

Maybe some of you think I'm a softy with a unique, inaccurate perspective when it comes to those observations. But in that case I'd point you to this month's issue (#236) of "Knights Of The Dinner Table". Jolly Blackburn, creator and editor of the "Knights Of The Dinner Table" magazine, has spent decades interacting with geeks. Through his publication, personal gaming hobbies, online forums and conventions, he's had broad exposure to countless of our kind. In the wake of losing a friend, he observes, "life is too short. So much of our lives as geeks and gamers is wrapped up with arguing and tearing down and losing sight of the fact that what REALLY draws us together-- is each other. It's not the game you're playing, but those you are tossing dice with."

I think as geeks we would benefit from abandoning the private thoughts that everyone else should get a thicker skin, and instead meet people where they are at (and maybe realize our own skin is only selectively thick). Maybe that pastor is making a bone-headed decision. I've watched pastors do that plenty of times and I look back at my own bone-headed decisions as a pastor or leader. But it's their job to make those decisions, and if we want to keep a voice in their lives that they will be open to in the future, we would be wise to adjust our thinking and perspective, give them favor they don't deserve (that's actually the meaning of "grace", which God has given and continues to give us in ridiculous amounts), and endeavor to fill them up with support and encouragement, rather than drain their thinly spread resources of personal energy.



On a personal note: Praise Yahweh's sovereign rule and orchestration of events! In the middle of my prep for this segment this week, I found myself in a place of potential disagreement with one of our pastors. This passage helped me reign in my sinful tendencies and gain a better perspective. There was plenty of anxiety in the mix, but the issue was resolved wonderfully and I took the opportunity to affirm and encourage the pastor I was interacting with. This is just one more continuation of a pattern I've seen in my life over the last few months, where God is using teaching from our church or that I'm preparing for the podcast to meet me right where I am at that week or touch on something happening among some of you in our community. Maybe that's all just for me or maybe God is doing this in my life to get your attention about something too. I just want to put that on the table for all of us to stop and perk up our ears a little more so we don't miss what God might be trying to do in us through these kinds of things.