Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (Movie Review)

Review by Ken from Honolulu

Earlier this year, writer and director Tommy Wirkola released his latest work, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.  This was a horror/action take on Grimm’s classic tale, starring Jeremy Renner and Gemma Atherton as the titular siblings.  In this version, Hansel and Gretel are bounty hunters who track and kill witches all over the world.  However, as the fabled Blood Moon approaches, the siblings encounter a new form of evil that might hold the key to their own past.

I give this movie an eight on the quality scale. It is well filmed, the CG isn’t that bad, and the acting is fairly decent.  When it comes to the plot, though, things begin to fall apart.

When you watch movies and plays, it is expected that you suspend disbelief temporarily, so that you can engage with the story.  However, with this film you not only have to suspend disbelief, you have to throw it on the floor, stomp on it, and then fling it out the window.  This film is completely crazy and unbelievable.

The movie is supposed to be set in the late middle ages, perhaps 1200 AD, but Hansel uses a shotgun, and Gretel has a sort of double-crossbow that allows her to fire not only straight forward, but also sideways.  Even more ridiculously, at one point, the two use a gatling gun with belt-fed ammunition.  So yeah, the technology level is completely laughable, and the story is kind of out there, but it’s still a wild, fun ride.

There is an awful lot of violence going on in this film, and some of it is extremely graphic. For example, a troll grabs a human in its left hand.  Then, with his right thumb and forefinger, it pops the guy’s head like a grape.  In another scene the troll steps on a human and squashes him, spraying blood and gore everywhere.

The violence isn’t the only content issue that may deter some viewers.  The movie contains around five F-bombs, and while there is no real sex, there is a very brief scene of rear female nudity.

I give the movie a five on the relevance score. One of the only issues raised for potential discussion is whether there can be good witches and bad witches.  While you could chat this over afterwards if you felt inclined, as well as unpack what Bible says about witches and sorcery, this movie doesn’t really encourage thought on the topic.  It’s an action-fest, and it doesn’t even attempt to provoke thought.

I don’t recommend this film for kids under fifteen, but if you’re looking for over-the-top action, this might just be your movie.

Rated R for strong fantasy horror and gore, brief sexuality/nudity, and language.

Quality: 8.0 / 10.0
Relevance: 5.0 / 10.0