Being Patient, Tolerant And Unified Geeks (In Search Of Truth, Ephesians 4:1-3, Part 2)

Ephesians 4:1-3
1 I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, 2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, 3 eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.


Paul has begun describing what it looks like to pursue a life worthy of the calling we have as believers in Jesus. Last time we looked at humility and gentleness. This time we'll look at patience, bearing with one another in love, and eagerness to maintain unity.

1. Patience. The Greek word here refers to endurance, perseverance and slowness to avenging wrongs while bearing troubles or ills.

2. Bearing with one another in love. Once again the Greek word for "love" here is "agape", a selfless love that prioritizes the well-being of others. And in this context, it's a love that enables us to put up with those who make our lives more difficult.

3. Eagerness to maintain unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. All believers are united to the Father through the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 2:18). But this is a further sense of unity among believers that is made possible, through the Holy Spirit, by peaceful relationships and an effort to seek agreement.


SO WHATS IN ALL THIS FOR GEEKS?

All three of these traits have relevance to the subject of conflict. And as geeks we can find ourselves in disagreement or conflict with others pretty frequently. And yet these character traits guide us in how to navigate those situations.

PATIENCE

We may not want to admit it, but most of us geeks are pretty emotional. And that also gives us the tendency to react quickly and emotionally to disagreement or conflict. (Even if that quick emotional reaction comes in the form of trying to sound thoughtful and unemotional, the emotions are still often driving us.)

I often prefer e-mail as a medium for discussing differences of opinion with others because it gives me time to think through their words and sort through my reactionary feelings before I respond. We are all afforded this luxury in the modern age of facebook and other social media platforms. And yet it's so common to see people fire off what appear to be emotional knee-jerk reactions; so common that places like youtube are famous for showcasing the worst in people.

As believers, we're called to endure and persevere through things that trouble us. In Greek the word used for patience here implies a slowness to avenging wrongs. Elsewhere in scripture, also written by Paul, we're told "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19, ESV)

In disagreement, we can and should represent truth. But it is not our job to make sure that those who emotionally hurt or embarrass us in the process are "put in their place" or "get what they deserve". God is real. Eternal consequences (both separation from God and loss of reward) are real. We can afford to wait and see justice done right.

BEARING WITH ONE ANOTHER IN LOVE

The word for "bearing" here is also translated "showing tolerance". We're called to put up with difficult people out of a love, compassion and concern for their well-being.

In a staff meeting for the leadership of our church's college group, one leader  used the expression "EGR" as a shorthand identifier when getting me up to speed on a situation with a student. When I gave him a puzzled look he apologized and explained that EGR was a shorthand term he and his wife used that just meant "Extra Grace Required".

We all run into people and situations that really ought to have a big "EGR" stamp on them. And at least now and then (maybe quite often!) we are probably an EGR for someone else!

During my time as a worship pastor, then later in my involvement in a team of college group leaders, and over the last 10+ years heading up Spirit Blade Productions, there have always been and still continue to be EGRs that I would love to block out of my life because of the drain they put on me. EGRs that have no idea they are EGRs, because telling them they are wouldn't be useful to them.

And that's what I want to be for them. A useful part of their lives that God can use to bring them truth, grace and encouragement. As we focus on being useful to the EGRs in our lives, remembering that we may be an EGR for someone else, we begin to participate in this manifestation of God's love.

EAGERNESS TO MAINTAIN UNITY

Specifically, this is an "eagerness to maintain unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace". The churches Paul was speaking to in this letter were composed of people groups that had VERY different cultural backgrounds. And despite sharing many things in common, we geeks often have strong likes and dislikes, or passionately held views that differ from those we interact with.

Through either lack of awareness or (I hate to say it) hardened hearts, we end up expressing those views and opinions so intensely or frequently that things become heated or people just begin to quietly avoid interacting with us.

I definitely do not want to suggest or imply that we should stop expressing our views and opinions. There is plenty of room for opinions and even more room should be allowed for discussing and evaluating various truth claims. But if the way in which we express ourselves comes across as abrasive or overbearing to others (regardless of our intent), the line of communication will quickly shut down and we will lose future opportunities to truly be heard and considered.

So as we enter into conversations with others, whether on trivial or important topics, we should bring an eagerness to maintain unity with other Christians.

And notice that this unity is accomplished through the Holy Spirit and is maintained (bound together) by peace. As we enter conversations, we should be asking the Holy Spirit "How do you want us as believers to be unified right now?" And even as we express differing views we should look for ways to circle back and bring common ground to the conversation, which promotes peace and unity.


All three of these points made by the Holy Spirit cut into me and expose my sin. I want to see those oblivious, insensitive people who hurt me get what they deserve. The last thing I want is to be patient and trust God to deal out rewards and consequences. And I'm tired of getting e-mails and youtube comments from "EGRs", that drain my energy and require me to take time out to interact with, carefully and graciously. And frankly sometimes I'm sick of hearing about Christian unity, as the word "unity" is used as a trump card to shoo away the pursuit of truth. And attaching the word "eagerness" to my desire to maintain unity with others just sounds weird. Who in the world is ever "eager", on the edge of their seat, about maintaining unity with other people? Paul must have meant something less strange sounding, right? Like being "committed" to unity, or "placing value" on unity.
Yet despite the complications and nuances, the life we were made for is one of patience, selfless love and genuine eagerness toward unity. So that's what I want to move deeper into every day. I hope you want that to, and that together we can build community at Christian Geek Central and in our local churches that reflects the life-giving body of Christ we are called to be an active part of.




Resources typically used to prepare this study include:
"Expositor's Bible Commentary", Frank E. Gaebelein General Editor (Zondervan Publishing House)
"The IVP Bible Background Commentary: New Testament", by Dr. Craig S. Keener (InterVarsity Press)
Thayer's Greek Lexicon
Strong's Exhaustive Concordance
Blueletterbible.org (primarily for search functionality)